kathmak

"Bodies at Rest"

2006-09-07T23:23:20Z

Another in a series of 500-ish word DRR ficlets...

Cross-posted to drippers and doggettreyes

TITLE: “Bodies at Rest”
AUTHOR: Kathmak (Kate)
EMAIL: Kathmak898@yahoo.com
WEBSITE: http://www.geocities.com/kathmak898/
FEEDBACK: Yes, if you feel so inclined.
DISTRIBUTION: Gossamer/Ephemeral; XFMU; all others please ask.
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: Sometimes she counts his eyelashes instead of counting sheep.
CATEGORIES: VR
KEYWORDS: Doggett/Reyes Romance
DISCLAIMER: John Doggett and Monica Reyes don’t belong to me, blah, blah, blah.

_________________________________________________________________

“I count your eyelashes, secretly,
With every one, whisper I love you”

She likes to watch him sleep. She takes a great deal of comfort in seeing him at peace without the weight of the world on his shoulders. No one would dispute that he has sturdy broad shoulders, but even the strongest man needs a brief respite now and then. It is not often that she sees him with his guard completely down like this, so she treasures these glimpses and locks them away deep in her heart for future reflection.

Sometimes she counts his eyelashes instead of counting sheep. He would blush if he knew, though. For all his confidence and self-assurance, he was modesty incarnate when it came to things like that. It was one of the countless things that made him so beautiful to her.

“I take pride in my modesty,” he had dead-panned to her once when the subject had come up. It was only when she burst out laughing that he cracked a smile. She loves that smile--the one that makes her think of a little boy who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar--the slightly crooked smile that never fails to send her heart racing.

It turns out that John Doggett has a wicked sense of humor. Who would’ve guessed? Certainly not anyone who sees him when he’s in his “no nonsense ‘just the facts, ma’am’” mode at work. He can make her laugh like no one else. And she derives a certain pleasure in knowing that he chooses to reveal this side of himself to her and her only.

But for as much shared laughter they have shared, she has cried with him, too. She has held him many, many times when it seemed to him that all hope was lost. With loving hands, she has wiped those sorrowful eyes when they shed bitter tears for the child who would never live to see his eighth birthday.

Such a long journey for the two of them. At times she wondered how long it might take for them to get here. And yet, she never doubted for a second that they would end up together like this: arms, legs and hearts entwined. The first time she looked into his haunting azure eyes, she knew. He was her destiny.

She watches as he opens his sleepy eyes and smiles that crooked smile. She gets that familiar flutter inside her when he calls her name. She feels him even more than she hears him.

“Monica.” He calls her name again and pulls her closer to him. She burrows into his arms, the place she always goes to seek refuge from the world. It is only in the warmth of his cocoon-like embrace that she finds true peace.

“I love you,” they whisper to one another. They are two souls joined by love and fate.

He strokes her hair and kisses her closed eyelids as she drifts off to sleep.

~End~

Meme

2006-08-27T02:19:45Z

Snagged from skypilot_dlm

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

× I miss somebody right now.	× I don't watch much TV these days.	✓ I own lots of books.
× I wear glasses or contact lenses.	× I love to play video games.	× I've tried marijuana.
× I've watched porn movies.	× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes. (Sometimes? Ha, I'd say a bit more than that.)	× I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.	× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

* * * * *

× I have broken someone's bones.	× I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.	× I hate the rain.
× I'm paranoid at times.	× I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.	✓ I need/want money right now.
× I love sushi.	× I talk really, really fast.	× I have fresh breath in the morning.
✓ I have long hair. (Does shoulder length count?)	× I have lost money in Las Vegas.	✓ I have at least one sibling. (An older sister and an older brother.)
× I was born in a country outside of the U.S.	× I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.	× I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
× I like the way that I look.	× I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.	× I am usually pessimistic.
✓ I have a lot of mood swings. (Can anyone say PMS?)	× I think prostitution should be legalized.	× I slept with a roommate.
× I have a hidden talent.	× I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.	✓ I have a lot of friends.
× I have pecked someone of the same sex.	× I enjoy talking on the phone.	✓ I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
✓ I love to shop and/or window shop. (Oh yeah.)	× I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.	× I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
✓ I have a mobile phone.	× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.	✓ I've rejected someone before.
× I currently like/love someone.	× I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.	✓ I want to have children in the future. (I have a huge maternal streak.)
× I have changed a diaper before.	× I've called the cops on a friend before.	× I'm not allergic to anything.
× I have a lot to learn.	× I am shy around the opposite sex.	× I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
× I have at least 5 away messages saved.	× I have tried alcohol or drugs before.	× I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
× I own the "South Park" movie.	× I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.	× I enjoy some country music.
× I would die for my best friends.	× I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.	× I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
× I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.	× I have dated a close friend's ex.	× I am happy at this moment.
× I'm obsessed with guys.	× Democrat.	✓ Republican. (I like Pres. Bush, but sometimes I wish he would act more like a Conservative.)
× I don't even know what I am.	× I am punk rockish.	× I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
× I study for tests most of the time.	× I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.	× I can work on a car.
✓ I love my job(s).	✓ I am comfortable with who I am right now.	× I have more than just my ears pierced.
✓ I walk barefoot wherever I can.	× I have jumped off a bridge.	× I love sea turtles.
✓ I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.	× I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.	× I am proficient on a musical instrument.
× I hate office jobs.	× I went to college out of state.	× I am adopted.
× I am a pyro.	× I have thrown up from crying too much.	× I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
× I fall for the worst people.	× I adore bright colours.	× I usually like covers better than originals.
× I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.	✓ I can pick up things with my toes. (Mom is so proud.)	× I can't whistle.
× I have ridden/owned a horse.	✓ I still have every journal I've ever written in.	× I talk in my sleep.
× I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.	✓ I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.	× I wear a toe ring.
× I have a tattoo.	× I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.	✓ I am a caffeine junkie. (Coffee in the morning; Diet Coke in the afternoon.)
× I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.	× If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.	× I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
× I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.	✓ I'm an artist. (If writing fan fiction counts, then yes.)	× I am ambidextrous.
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.	× If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony.	× I have terrible teeth.
× I hate my toes.	✓ I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me.	× I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
× I have lived in either three different states or countries.	× I am extremely flexible.	× I love hugs more than kisses.
× I want to own my own business.	× I smoke.	✓ I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else. (Sad but true.)
× Nobody has ever said I'm normal.	× Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.	× I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons.
× I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.	✓ I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me. (I'm very sensitive about stuff like that.)	× I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.
× I have played strip poker with someone else before.	× I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.	✓ I believe in ghosts and the paranormal. (That stuff fascinates me.)
× I can't stand being alone.	✓ I have at least one obsession at any given time. (Yes, currently it's DRR fan fic.)	× I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.
× I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.	× I'm a judgmental asshole.	× I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
× I have travelled on more than one continent.	× I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.	× I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
× I am a Libertarian.	× I can speak more than one language.	× I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be.
× I would rather read than watch TV.	× I like reading fact more than fiction.	✓ I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.
× I have no piercings.	× I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.	× I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.	× There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it.	× I like most animals better than most people.
× I own a collection of retro games consoles.	× The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.	× I have hit someone with a dead fish.
× I am compulsively honest.	× I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired.	× I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.
× I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.	× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.	× I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.	× I dislike milk.	× I obsessively wash my hands.
× I always carry something significant around with me.	× Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.	× I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.
× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.	× I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.	× I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.
× I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.	× Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.	× I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
× I do not 'get' most comedy acts.	× I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing.	× I don't like to chew gum.
× I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.	× I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.	× I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.
× I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.	× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.	✓ I love to sing.
× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up.	× I have a custom-built computer.	✓ I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it. (A girl can dream!)
× I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.	× I've gone skinny-dipping.	× I've performed in three plays.
✓ I enjoy burritos.	× I'm Irish and loving it.	× I have a thing for redheads.
× I am a twin!	× Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.	× Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.
× I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.	✓ I sleep more than 12 hours a day. (If only!)	× I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.
× I need more time to myself.	× I wish I was more open-minded.	× I hope that I go really prematurely grey.
× I download songs from the internet.	× I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.	× I say random things to freak people out.
× I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note.	× I love playing Truth or Dare.	× I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it.
✓ Music helps me remember that I am not alone.	× Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems.	✓ I think this survey is particularly long.
✓ I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones. (Sometimes, yes!)	× I can only hate someone that I love.	× I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks.

DRR Ficlet: "Fallen"

2006-08-26T20:52:09Z

Cross-posted to drippers and doggettreyes Hope you like.

Title: “Fallen”
Author: Kathmak
Webpage: http://www.geocities.com/kathmak898/
Summary: He looked directly into my eyes, and I was done for.
Category: Pre-XF; DRR/DRF
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: John Doggett and Monica Reyes don’t belong to me, sadly. The only thing I gain from this is a great deal of personal satisfaction in knowing that John and Monica are always treated properly in my fics.

*********************************************************

I was hanging up the phone when my assistant poked her head into my office.

“John Doggett’s here to see you. Again,” she added with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

“Stop it, Bev,” I chided her. “There’s nothing going on between us and you know it.”

“Maybe not yet,” she answered. “But how many times have you had lunch with him lately? And didn’t you say you met him for drinks last week at that place in Little Italy?”

Now, let me say this right off: I would be lying if I said that the sound of his name didn’t conjure up a warm feeling deep in the pit of my stomach, but damned if I was going to admit it to anybody, least of all my sweet but chatty assistant.

I stood up and folded my arms defensively across my chest. “That’s beside the point. He’s married,” I reminded her.

Okay, so he was separated and his wife had moved out three months ago, but she didn’t need to know that.

Bev winked as she turned to leave. “Uh huh, whatever you say, Agent Reyes.”

I stood there frozen for a moment, lost in thought. Surely she was wrong. She must have mistaken my compassion and empathy for something altogether different. The man had lost his son not more than a year earlier, after all. He couldn’t talk to his wife about it, but for whatever reason he could talk to me. Said he wanted to tell me about Luke so I would know him. We had grown close, and I felt myself being drawn more and more to this beautifully complex six-foot tall mystery.

Maybe I should rethink this. Spending so much time with a married, emotionally scarred man was probably not the smartest thing I could do. And if my assistant noticed, chances are others did too. Maybe I shouldn't . . .
"Monica." John's gravelly voice stunned me out of my reverie. He was standing in the doorway doing something he rarely did these days: he was smiling.

"John, this is a pleasant surprise. What brings you downtown?"

"You, actually."

My heart nearly jumped out of my chest.

((Don't go there, Monica. He didn't mean it like that.))

"Me?" I squeaked.

"Yeah. My buddy couldn’t use his Yankees tickets tonight, so he gave ‘em to me. Thought maybe you’d like to go.”

((Tell him you can’t go. Tell him you despise the Yankees. If he had Mets tickets, maybe.))

He shrugged, almost as if he sensed my inner struggle. “I know it’s short notice. But . . . ”

My head snapped up. “But what?”

Then he did something I was afraid he might do. He looked directly into my eyes, and I was done for.

“. . .but I would really ‘ppreciate your company tonight.”

((Tell him no, Monica. Back away before you fall and get yourself hurt.))

“I would love to go, John.”

He smiled at me again, and I blushed shyly. I knew then it was too late. I had already fallen.

~End~

DRR Ficlets

2006-08-24T02:18:35Z

I've been working on a series of DRR ficlets, and I was encouraged to share. Big hugs to skypilot_dlm for the prompts and your endless Dripperness! Cross-posted to doggettreyes and drippers.

"Perfect Place"

Prompt: "Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place"

Kersh was so pissed that spittle was actually flying out in random directions as he shouted. Doggett had seen him angry before, but never like this.

“And since when you do decide who to investigate?” Kersch was shouting now. “You take your orders from me, not the other way around, you got that?”

An involuntary smile crept across Doggett’s face. Suddenly he had an image of Kersch’s head doing a complete 360, like Linda Blair’s in The Exorcist. All that was missing was the expulsion of pea soup from his mouth.

“You find this funny, Agent Doggett? Because I can assure you that I’ll be having the last laugh. You’re excused. Now get out of my office!”

Doggett did his best to wipe the dopey smile off of his face but it was no use; he couldn’t do it. He made a hasty exit from the Deputy Director’s office and ambled down the hall like he didn’t have a care in the world. And, holy crap, was he whistling now? This wasn’t like him, wasn’t like him at all. He passed Brad Follmer on his way to the elevator and greeted him with a mock salute.

When he walked the through of the door of the basement office he was welcomed by his partner. She looked absolutely radiant.

Monica was seated at her desk, and her face lit up when she saw him. “Morning, Agent Doggett,” she grinned.

He approached her and returned the smile. And then some. “Good morning to you, Agent Doggett,” he answered. Leaning down, he kissed her tenderly on the lips. “You’re looking gorgeous this morning.”

“How was the meeting with Kersch?” she asked brightly.

Doggett rolled his eyes. “Let’s just say he was in top form.”

Monica laughed as he stood behind her and began massaging her shoulders. “More importantly, how was your meeting?” His face fell. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there, darlin’.”

“It’s okay, honey.” She patted his hand reassuringly. “You were there at the conception, and you’ll be there when I deliver. A few missed appointments in between is no biggie.”

Doggett kissed the top of her head and sighed. He was a happy man.

After a moment of contented silence he spoke again. “So, Mon, how are my babies doin’?”

She took his left hand and placed it tenderly on her quickly expanding abdomen. “Doctor says the twins and I are doing just fine.”

Doggett ran his hand lovingly over her warm, taut skin and marveled at the lives that grew within her.

Ah, yes. Life was very, very good.

~End~

Simple Pleasures redux

2006-06-06T02:40:13Z

Snagged from skypilot_dlm. I don't know if these are original, but they come from the heart, in no particular order.

1. A big wet sloppy kiss from my yellow lab, Daisy Belle.
2. Getting an unexpected gift in the mail.
3. Sleeping in on Saturday mornings.
4. Getting a really great haircut/style (okay, so it's an expensive, albeit simple pleasure).
5. Buying a new pair of designer pumps (see comment above in parenthesis).
6. Drinking an ice cold Amstel light on a blisteringly hot day.
7. Hearing my Dad call me by one of the nicknames I've had since childhood (no, I'm not telling :-)).
8. Talking to my buddy via email/weekly IM.
9. Finding an extra 20 bucks that I had totally forgotten about buried in my purse .
10.Hearing someone say "I love you".

Always a bridesmaid...never a bride

2006-01-15T21:45:47Z

Well, my beloved Indianapolis Colts went down in flames this afternoon. It was a hard-fought battle but the Pittsburgh Steelers came out on top. I fear that my dear Peyton Manning will become the Dan Marino of his generation (he racks up all sorts of gaudy records but has no Super Bowl ring to show for it.) Someone just put me out of my misery, please. I really wonder why I do this to myself: I throw my heart and soul into my sports teams, only to have my heart ripped out and stomped on. I must be some kind of masochist. I tell myself that, next year, I won't get my hopes up. But then, football (or baseball) season rolls around, and I am at it again. It's like being in love, I suppose. Every time your heart is broken, you swear it won't happen again. But then a guy steals your heart and it happens all over again. It's what makes us human, I suppose--we don't always seem to learn from our mistakes.

A friend of mine at work wondered out loud why people get so charged up about their sports teams, and I must admit I hadn't given it much thought up until then. I can't speak for anyone else, but for me it's very cathartic to pour your energy (both good and bad) into something outside yourself. It spares me from engaging in all sorts of self-destructive behavior, lol. Hey, I'm an Aries, and I am passionate by nature. Passionate to a fault, I'm afraid. I can't change who I am. I guess I am in the minority because I'm a "chick", and chicks traditionally are not supposed to get all riled up about stuff like that. Right about now I wish I was one of those women who didn't give a rat's ass about sports! It would be a lot less painful for me.

How many days until spring training???

Just Checking In

2006-01-08T07:52:47Z

I just looked back at my last entry, and boy, it's been awhile. I hope everyone had a nice holiday. Mine was nice and quiet, just the way I like it. Work is going well. I totally dig it. I joined the fitness center on campus and I have been working out pretty regularly for about 3 weeks now. (I had a fitness assessment--wheew, that was a humbling experience! I had a workout program designed for me after that. I am the kind of person who needs structure--I can't just walk into the gym without a plan.) So, that was a big step for me, because I sort of let myself go last year when I was not working. I was so bummed out, and I probably used that as an excuse for not taking better care of myself. Now I'm doing something good for myself and I feel great about it. It's amazing how getting a job that you really like will change your whole self-image.

On the DRR front, I did write a pre-XF fic that is up on my webpage. I was not sure about it because I had not previously attempted anything like it, but I was pleasantly surprised by the feedback I got. And I wrote a DRR Christmas fic, but I finished it after Christmas. So, I don't know if anyone would be in the mood to read it now. Maybe I'll save it for next Christmas, lol.

Got the Job!!

2005-09-27T16:42:48Z

Woo hoo! I am gainfully employed once again! Got the job at Kent State--isn't everyone happy for me? :-)Got the offer last week, signed the contract on friday, and started work on monday. So, things are moving along quite nicely. I couldn't be more thrilled. The pay is good, the benefits are good, and the people are great. It feels so nice to a productive member of society once again! Of course, I won't have as much time to screw around on the computer, but I will always find time to see what my LJ friends are up to and to check out the latest DRR stuff, lol.

Anyway, just wanted to thank those of you who encouraged me during my period of unemployment. I appreciate your kind words of support!

My First Flame!

2005-09-16T02:12:58Z

For those of you who read and write fanfic, you will understand and hopefully be able to sympathize with this entry. Anyone who doesn't won't. Okay, so on with the story. Earlier this week I got a very nasty, mean-spirited review of one of my fics. I was literally left speechless by what this wench said (and believe me, I am not left speechless very often). I am not suggesting that my stuff is perfect, because I am usually my own worst critic. Constuctive criticism is one thing, but this went beyond the pale. We write this stuff for enjoyment, not because we are trying to make a living from it. This bitch was acting like she was a critic from the New York Times or something. I think what hurt me the most was the condescending way in which this person "lectured" me about the characters that I feel such affection for. Who in the f*ck is she to tell me that I don't know who these characters are, what drives them, what they love, etc. It just really bothered me. I know I shouldn't let it, but it did. I wanted to bash this person on the head with a heavy object, lol. Fortunately, a few wonderful friends stepped in and helped convince me not to just chuck it all and throw my computer out the window. A small part of me still does feel sad and afraid to write anything more, though. It's just not worth the emotional stress, ya know? Sigh...but I can't let this worthless piece of dirt ruin something that I like to do. Why should she win?

On a lighter note, I was contacted this week by the company that turned me down for a job several months back. Interestingly enough, they now have an opening in their Cleveland office and they want to interview me. I couldn't believe it. This is the same company that didn't even have the courtesy to tell me that they had hired someone else for their last opening. I would love to be offered that job, and then tell them, "Sorry, I've accepted a position somewhere else." We'll see what unfolds.

Not a Bad Week...

2005-09-10T03:14:14Z

Wow, I had two (count 'em) two big job interviews this week. They both went very well as far as I can tell, but who really knows for sure? All I can say is that, for the first time in a very long time, I feel hopeful for the future. I want to savor this feeling because I don't know how long it will last before my hope is crushed again. But I will try not to think about that now. *happy thoughts, happy thoughts*

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Humane Society and ASPCA Disaster Relief:

https://secure.hsus.org/01/disaster_relief_fund_2005?

https://secure2.convio.net/aspca/site/Donation?ACTION=SHOW_DONATION_OPTIONS&CAMPAIGN_ID=4761&JServSessionIdr011=rxaee9hnb4.app25b

Keep Those Fingers Crossed...

2005-08-31T22:45:56Z

At least there has been a little activity in my job search this week. I had a phone interview for one job yesterday, and today they asked me to come in for an in-person interview. (Apparently they screened the applicants by phone, and then they narrowed it down to the top 3. I was one of the 3. Yippee!) And I also received another call concerning yet another job I had applied for, and they also want to meet with me! So, I have two interviews next week: one in Cleveland and one in Kent. Could this be the break I have been hoping and praying for? Don't want to get my hopes up, because I have been burned before, but it's hard not to.

So if anyone wants to send me some good vibes next week, I'd be much obliged. :-)

Some People Are Such A-Holes!!

2005-08-24T20:10:30Z

Here's what I feel like shouting out to everyone: "I'm angry and I'm PMS-ing, so don't fuck with me today!" Some people are such assholes--so into themselves and their own childish little worlds that they fail to treat others with even the most basic human courtesy. And the kicker is, the people who are the nastiest and most self-absorbed are usually the ones who end up getting ahead in the world. The decent people get shit on time and time again. Where is the justice in that? I don't really feel like going into specifics, but needless to say, "The Golden Rule" is a load of crap.

Tagged, Part Deux

2005-08-11T05:57:14Z

I've been tagged by skypilot_dlm !! The topic is "Ten Songs I've Been Digging". Here they are, in no particular order:

A Day in the Life - Beatles
Songbird - Eva Cassidy
Wildflowers - Tom Petty
You Better You Bet - The Who
Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band
Under My Thumb - Rolling Stones
Centerfield - John Fogerty
What is Life - George Harrison
You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban
Bad - U2

I think everyone I know has already been tagged, oh well. I gotta get out more.

I've Been Tagged!

2005-08-09T02:45:58Z

Tagged by quietlybemused

Five things I can't live without: (in no particular order)

1. Family and friends
2. My dogs Daisy Belle (Yellow Lab) and Maximus (Doberman Pinscher)
3. Computer/Internet
4. Caffeine
5. Major League Baseball and NFL Football

Five foods/beverages that I love:

1. Peanut Butter
2. Pasta
3. Chocolate
4. Diet Pepsi/Diet Coke
5. Pizza

Five things that I always have with me: (I'm assuming this means when I go somewhere)

1. My car keys
2. My purse
3. My glasses or contacts (blind as a bat without 'em)
4. My cell phone
5. CDs (so I can play my tunes in the car)

Five things I will always and forever hate/dislike:

1. The New York Yankees
2. Radical left-wing liberals
3. Hypocrisy
4. People who have betrayed my trust/friendship
5. DSR/slash fic

I'm gonna tag skypilot_dlm You're it, lol.

Stuff

2005-08-06T07:14:08Z

Well, got another rejection letter in the mail today, which totally blows goats. If something doesn't come up soon, I'm gonna have to practice saying "You want fries with that?" Honestly, I don't know what I'm going to do. I may have to move out of state to find a job. The real pisser is, I have a great resume! I'm not just some yay-hoo out of school. I need to find a rich old man who'll be my sugar daddy, lol.

On a more positive note, I posted a new DRR fic on my site "My Solace" with the help of a very good friend (thanks again, Trace). I've found that writing fan fic is very cathartic, and it's a nice diversion from all of the every day crap that goes on.

kathmak @ 2005-07-28T02:11:00

2005-07-28T06:26:22Z

Sigh...I don't know why I do it to myself, but I was looking for something in my desk drawer, and I found one of my past journals. So, of course, I started reading all about my old boyfriends and how they broke my heart, and I started getting depressed all over again. It's not so much that I miss these specific guys, but I think I just miss "bring in love," if that makes any sense. It would be nice to have that feeling again. I miss that euphoria.

Initial Entry (I know, who gives a crap?)

2005-07-25T18:59:22Z

I'm totally new to this LJ stuff--I mean, I've been a member of LJ for awhile now, but mostly I just respond to other people's posts and snag really cool icons. I have been somewhat resistant to the idea of actually *keeping* a journal, basically because I don't think that my life is interesting enough for other people to want to read about. But, I see that so many other people are doing it, so I thought I would give it a shot. I doubt anyone will read it anyway, so I will think of it as some kind of self-therapy.

Anyway, my job search continues. I found out last week that I did not get the job at Allstate. I really thought I had that one--I had two face-to-face interviews, plus several telephone jobs. And to add insult to injury, they didn't even have the courtesy to properly notify me. I sent several emails, all of which went unanswered. I was expecting a letter or a phone call: anything, really. Finally, I made another inquiry last week and I received a terse email telling me that they decided to hire someone else. I was incensed. I mean, how classless is that, especially for a big company like Allstate? I fired off an angry response telling them that if that is how they deal with personnel issues, then I was glad I was not working for them. (Of course, I was lying--I'd love to have any job at this point, but I had to vent a little.) I feel numb, I guess. I feel so horrible and useless and stupid and unwanted. I feel like screaming out at the top of my lungs--if only someone would listen!